Yes, he has a life!


Now, when you imagine me (which of course you often do), you no doubt see me sitting at the computer eight or nine hours a day, taking just the occasional break to eat, stretch or pee, until I go crazy. And you are right. Every so often, however, I venture outside. It’s actually remarkably easy – all you have to do is open the door (not even that if you live in a cave), pop your head out to see if it’s safe, and go for a stroll. To any one else of my ilk, it’s an experience I recommend.

Thus it was that yesterday, I went to the beach, where I saw sand, water and sunlight. ‘Very pretty,’ I said to myself. ‘I must do this more often.’ So here are a few pictures to show you what I mean – as you can see, there was even an Easter hen along for the ride.

Naturally, I went for a swim. And there I was, happily watching the coloured creatures beneath me, when – ouch! I whirled round and there was a fish staring at me, having just sunk its sweet little razor-sharp teeth into my toe.

My friends said it was probably a baliste, so as soon as I got back, I checked. It wasn’t. A baliste is a triggerfish, and they are indeed aggressive, but this thing, though not so tall, was a good bit longer. And I don’t think it was aggressive, actually, it just saw a little pink thing and thought, ‘Yummy!’ When I snarled at it (as best I could under water) and thrashed about, it wasn’t in the least impressed, it just kept staring, wondering which bit it was going to try next. Eventually, it decided that whatever was attached to the toe was more trouble than it was worth, and drifted lazily away.

So there you go. Typical. Step outside your door and you end up in Jaws. I think tomorrow I’ll stay in front of the computer.

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  1. I am surprised that Easter hen made it through the outing without melting! It looks like lovely weather. Too bad the the Easter hen could not protect you from vicious sea creatures.

  2. Wonderful!!!!!! I stay at home many hours, but when I get outside in a sunnuy day… it’s lovely!!!… though I’m not so lucky as you are… I live in the center of Barcelona and to get beaches or the country, takes me too much time!!!!

  3. You are a fortunate man, Curtis, living near such a sparkling gem. Just remember, when we step into the ocean, we are the interlopers and probably deserve however harsh a welcome we receive. After all, how would you respond if a trigger fish, or pike, or great white shark threw itself onto the shore, interrupting your sunbathing? Would you invite them to tea? Or beat their fishy skulls with the nearest drift log?

    • I will bear that in mind, Sue! It’s their home, indeed – and actually they’re quite welcome to it. Too many teeth and spikes and pincers for my liking!

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